Not quite a year....

It's not quite been a year since my last post, and yet I already see a flaw in my thought process from then. One should not listen so that they can hold it against another when they are not listening. One should listen to others because it is the compassionate thing to do, but even then there are problems that aren't being taken into account. Some are incredibly caught up in their own thoughts and are unable to pull themselves out of them. This doesn't make them bad people; it makes them human. We should be more forgiving to those that occasionally have trouble listening to others. Maybe teach by example? I've yet to really figure out how to make a real change in those that you feel aren't really listening to you. Maybe this time next year I will know. Haha. I'd suggest letting the offender know that they are hurting your feelings when they graze over your input into the conversation. I've done this more often, and sometimes you will come off sounding whiny, but it pays off to an extent. The offender is at least aware of how you feel, and if slight progress is made than you know that they are not intending to hurt you through their monologues. 

Take the time to listen...

You know what is so incredibly troubling to me? The fact that people don't take the time to understand the hardships of others. Most of us are so consumed by our own lives, thoughts, and dreams that we completely forget to listen to those of others. Maybe it's because of the individualistic society we've been raised in. Perhaps it's been caused by the variety of outlets for social networking that don't require face-to-face contact and etiquette. Or, maybe, that's just how it has always been. I really hope that isn't true. I like to imagine a time when others were truly concerned with the well-being of their friends and family, but even if it was like that, it's not anymore. I'm not saying that we are heartless. I'm saying we are selfish. We're all guilty of this from time to time, but it's become a rather prevalent thing among those around me.

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.

-Margaret Millar-

One of the most least enjoyable things in life is always being the listener. People want to share their stories, their lives, and their wisdom. This is not to say that listening is not  important or not enjoyable. In fact, listening is incredibly enjoyable and the most giving thing one can do for another.  I listen to everyone's stories, some interesting, some dull. The point is, I do it. I do it for myself and for them in the hope that these people will do the same for me. It kills me when someone finally realizes that I might have something to talk about. I always respond with a "No, you're fine!" It's my way of testing who really wants to know what I am thinking. Maybe it's childish, but I've never had anyone respond with "No, really. Tell me anything. I'd love to hear from you." Instead they merrily return to their monologue, completely happy that they get to continue on with their story. I want someone to break down the walls themselves, prove that they really want to know. Those are the people who are worth it. Honestly, I've yet to meet more than one or two people in my lifetime who have done this. It's somewhat disheartening, but I have faith that there are more people who are willing to listen out there.

Legacy

So, I recently finished Chris Guillebeau's book, The Art of Non-Conformity. My sister lended it to me because she didn't have time to read it, but I managed to devour it in less than a day. This book is a hidden treasure, which I encourage everyone to pick up and read. There is a section where Chris starts speaking about legacies and what kind of legacy one wants to leave. Sure, I had tossed this idea around in my head, often involving images of grandeur involving hundreds of people coming to my funeral to celebrate my life. The idea of an actual legacy involves more of a meaningful impact, more of the why and less of the what. In other words, it's more than just me wanting hundreds of people to respect, love, and adore me. It's about why they would adore me. So, basically, I've decided to set out on what my legacy will consist of and work from there to accomplish this.

Legacy

I want to be remembered for traveling all over the world to see all the places most people see on TV or in magazines, but never in real life.

I want to be remembered as the friend who always listened when no one else would or even if it was the millionth time someone told them a story.

I want to be remembered as someone who started an organization that helped the youth of America believe in themselves, especially when they had no one else to believe in them.

I want to be remembered as someone who knew how to have a good time.

I want to remembered as someone who had all sorts of experiences.

I want to be remembered as someone who learned about life in every way that they could.

I want to be remembered not just as someone who had big dreams, but as someone who had big actions that made those big dreams come true.

And, yes, I do want to be remembered as someone who numerous people love, were inspired by, and learned from.